Are rainbows worth the storms?
This is what I’ve been asking myself since last night.
This week I have been helping my dad pick bales that he made, in exchange for some bales for my animals. I LOVE picking bales and was excited to be doing it again this year for the first time in two years.
It hasn’t been without its challenges though, as I’m feeling pretty burnt out from my adrenal fatigue which has been pretty bad lately causing me to wake up unable to sleep at 3-5am, and then I end up feeling like I could sleep all day.
At the same time, we are trying to fix up our rental to sell or rent while we are staying there and also renovating our farm house due to having mold in our bedroom ( which I’m hoping was the trigger for my fatigue getting worse when we moved there, and therefore I will hopefully start to feel as good as I did last summer once I detox from the mold.) I have been pretty much pushing through feeling sick and fatigued every day and I’m looking forward to slowing down after this month hopefully!
With all that plus some truck trouble thrown in, it’s taken a lot of work and money for both my dad and me to get very little hay, as it’s not been a great year for hay at all.
So it hit pretty hard yesterday when we spent all day trying to get what ended up being very few bales off a field only to have a huge storm come up and soak all the bales we made that day, plus all the bales I had hauled home the day before. I hadn’t covered them yet in my hurry to go get the rest and the chance of rain had been only 25% for that day.
We are driving home with a load after the storm passed and my dad jokingly said: “There is the rainbow, well that makes it all worth it.”
I laughed, and likely said “yeah” sarcastically, but didn’t think much more about it as I was starving and just wanted to get home to eat!
But later that night, when I couldn’t sleep because I was dwelling on a current relationship that means a lot to me, but has had more than its share of storms and even tornado’s rip through it, and some past relationships that haven’t weathered the storms at all, I for some reason thought of my dad saying “There is the rainbow, well that makes it all worth it.”
I started to wonder if it is worth going through the storms in a relationship to reach the rainbow at the end of the storm?
When you’re worn out from the destruction of the storms and they keep getting more damaging to you, do you move out of the storm zone? Do you keep rebuilding and hope the next one doesn’t do as much damage? Do you keep weathering the storms and enjoying the little rainbows hoping for the day that worst of the storms are over and you get to enjoy the really beautiful rainbow at the end?
I’m not sure if I have the complete answer yet.
I think the answer partly depends on if the other person is willing to help rebuild after the storms and is willing to help to fortify against and reduce the damages caused by future storms. I think it depends on if they are willing to stop creating the storms. I think it depends on if they want to see the rainbow or are content staying in the eye of the storm.
I think if the other person wants to help rebuild after the storms and is willing to join you in fighting to get through the storm, the beautiful rainbow at the end is more than worth the storms you will weather.
The question is, “Are they willing?” And how long do you wait for them to decide? I am praying for wisdom to know the answer to those questions and will continue to do so.
The hay getting soaked on the other hand? Not at all worth it as cool as the crazy clouds were, and as beautiful as the rainbow was. But I’m going to choose to hope that the stacks didn’t soak all the way through and that the hay will still be worth having as being miserable doesn’t help one bit. I should know.