Back to the land of the living.

I’m back! I hope… I’ve been sick beyond belief with morning sickness for the past few months, and now less than a week shy of the second trimester I’m just starting to feel like I’m half alive again.

I am still experiencing a lot of intense fatigue though, as well as allergies and candida flaring up, which I believe is still a reaction from the mold exposure.  So prayers for energy, and for wisdom on how to detox our home and bodies from the mold would be appreciated.

The last few months have been very hard on me physically as well as emotionally. I’ve never been good with sickness keeping me from getting things accomplished. I beyond suck at being inactive. My mom has been a huge blessing during this time as she gave a lot of her time making meals, watching kids, washing dishes and laundry as well as much much more. I am not sure how I would have survived without her help, especially when I had a houseful of sick kids and couldn’t get out of bed myself. It was really hard not to be able to be the one to look after my kids. But I couldn’t have asked for a better person to meet their needs during this time.

One thing I was able to do while I was sick was read a fair amount of books. So I’m hoping to write a post soon on some of the great books I’ve been reading.

I am very much mourning my lack of summer/fall this week and the fact that I don’t have enough energy to clean up the yard the way I’d like before winter, get my garden cleaned up and prepped the way I’d like, or ride my horses while it’s still nice, not to mention all the other projects I had hoped to accomplished this summer.  I’m trying to be at peace with that, and look at winter as a time of rest instead of something to dread. Someday’s I’m better at doing that than others. Today is beautiful, and I’m struggling with not having the energy to match my motivation for getting things done outside.

Yesterday my husband put together a wooden playhouse/fort for the boys that they plan on making into a Sukkah for Sukkot (I will post a link below explaining what Sukkot is for those who aren’t familiar with it) and after a fairly rough day with my boys fighting and not listening today. I’m enjoying watching the boys work together to figure out a roof for the Sukah. I will try to take and post pictures at some point once they are finished.

 

How is everyone else feeling about the coming winter? are you dreading it? or looking forward to a season of rest?

 

Link about Sukkot

http://messianicfamilyfellowship.com/sukkot-the-feast-of-tabernacles-bible-teaching/

 

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Monday is Book Day (a few days late)

So Monday is a big day in our house. Why you might ask? Because it’s the day our request books come into the library! We are big book lovers in this house and the day our request’s come in is very often the highlight of our week.

So seeing I love to hear what other people are reading and finding interesting. I thought I would try to keep up with doing a weekly blog post on what we are enjoying reading at our house and what requests we get in each week. This week the morning sickness hit for real so I did not feel up to anything till today. But I will try to update every Monday from now on.

 

My last week’s requests. (click on any of the titles to learn more about them)

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Home Management: Plain and Simple 

LOVE this book! It’s so encouraging and has practical ideas for organizing and simplifying pretty much every area of your life as mom and homemaker.

My Mini Midwife: Everything You Need to Know about Pregnancy and Birth

I wasn’t super impressed with this book. Wasn’t info I was very interested in and was very opposed to anything holistic.

Finding Calm for the Expectant Mom: Tools for Reducing Stress, Anxiety, and Mood Swings During Your Pregnancy

I only just started this book. Having dealt with fairly bad anxiety for the first time in my life last year, and knowing that being worn out is a trigger for me, I wanted to know what my options are while pregnant to treat anxiety just in case. So far it has been an interesting book and seems to have some good stuff.

When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart: Letters to Hurting Wives

Not a request but my own book. I am rereading this book to see if what they teach to wives hurting from the pain of their husband’s sexual sin still lines up with my beliefs, and would be a book I would recommend to other wives. My views on sex, sexual sin, porn, purity etc have changed a lot over the years, and I am going back and rereading some of the ones that I would have recommended in the past, to make sure they still line up with what I believe. Some books such as Every Heart Restored that I used to think was a great book, I have come to realize can further wound the wives reading it, and I no longer agree with the Every Man’s Battle way of dealing with things. The verdict is still out on this book.

Autoimmune Cookbook

I requested this when I thought I would be doing an AIP diet next month so I haven’t looked at it too closely. Looks like it could have some good recipes though.

Modern Homesteading

This is an awesome book! Wasn’t really anything I didn’t know as I have read a lot of homesteading books. But it’s a great overview of pretty much everything homesteading and has great pictures which is something a lot of homesteading books are lacking. Would be a great first book for someone just starting out on their homesteading journey!

Healing Herbs: A Beginner’s Guide to Identifying, Foraging, and Using Medicinal Plants / More than 100 Remedies from 20 of the Most Healing Plants

I haven’t had a chance to look closely at this on yet. But it looks awesome! The boys are doing a kid’s herbal course for homeschooling this year, so I’m trying to brush up on my very limited knowledge. My second son is very skilled at and keen on identifying wild/medicinal plants already though, so I’m doubting I’m ever going to catch up with him.

Your Pregnancy, Your Way: Everything You Need to Know about Natural Pregnancy and Childbirth

I have just started this book. So far it has had really good info and is very supportive of natural health choices in pregnancy and birth.

Natural Pregnancy: Practical Medical Advice and Holistic Wisdom for a Healthy Pregnancy and Childbirth

Loved this one. Lots of good info and homeopathic remedies for any pregnancy problems you may encounter.

The Vaccine-Friendly Plan: Dr. Paul’s Safe and Effective Approach to Immunity and Health-from Pregnancy Through Your Child’s Teen Years

I haven’t got the whole way through this one yet. But so far it seems to be a very balanced view on spacing, delaying and refusing the vaccines that don’t fit with your purpose for vaccinating. It also appears to be a good guide to what is in each brand of vaccines and how to choose the ones with the least harmful ingredients. He also takes into account your family history in choosing which vaccines you want to delay or forgo, and goes into detail about the risks vs benefit to each vaccine.

*Disclaimer – I am for vaccine choice and freedom for each family to decide what is best for their own family,  be that not vaxing, fully vaxing or delaying.  This review is in no way saying that this book is what everyone should follow.

The Brain Warrior’s Way Cookbook: Over 100 Recipes to Ignite Your Energy and Focus, Attack Illness and Aging, Transform Pain into Purpose

I have a huge interested in brain health and this guy really seems to know his stuff! Looking forward to trying some of the really yummy looking recipes in this cookbook once I’m feeling a little better!

 

More next week on this week’s requests

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Please feel free to comment on this post and let me know what you are enjoying reading these days! I love getting new ideas on what is out there to read!

 

I am a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon and affiliated sites. Thanks for your support. 

Fatigue, slowing down and a change of plans.

For months I’ve been telling myself and others that after I get this, this, and this done I will slow done and enjoy life, my kids, and this summer. 

Only I have this type A personality that thrives on getting stuff done and everything checked off my never ending to do list. 

So combine that with chronic fatigue, and that the simple fact of life is that there is no way to ever have everything on your list done at once. I’m forever pushing to get something done only resting when my body says I’m done and will let me do no more. 

This leads to me forever taking more on when I feel good, and stressing about what I’m not getting done when I’m not doing great. This is much to my husband’s chagrin as he is very good at living a slower pace of life and relaxing (when I give him the chance 😉) and only taking on what he feels he can handle at once. 

So God in his wisdom, that I did not see at all as wisdom at first, decided to give me something that would force me to slow down and focus on only the most pressing of things, taking care of myself and focusing on my kids. 

You see I suck at self-care. Unless not taking care of myself means I’m not taking care of one of my children. Then I’m super good about it. 

So last Thursday when I was about to put a lot more stuff on my plate (really good stuff, but more stuff none the less) I found out via two little lines that my life and year was very unexpectantly about to look a lot different. 

So instead of starting BJJ, I’m doing a much lower intensity physio class.  Instead of doing a good but labor intensive homeopathic gut healing protocol and AIP diet, I’m doing a prenatal homeopathic protocol and just trying to eat healthily.  Instead of killing myself trying to get my house and yard perfect when I offer last minute to host a farewell party, I rested in the morning, did the bare minimum cleaning and then went shopping so that I could get the groceries I needed to cook ahead before the morning sickness hits for real.  And then I tried hard not to apologize to everyone about how awful my house and yard looked.  Instead of rushing to get things done I’ve let myself and the boys sleep in and have taken the boys to fun places instead of trying to get more work done. 

I’m sure there are many more plans that will be changed by this little one. Like my hope to feel good enough next year to plant the huge garden that I haven’t had the energy for this year.  It will change how we plan the family trip we are hoping to take to BC to visit my husband’s family next year.  And it will mean possibly putting off the new animals I was hoping to add to our acreage for another 2yrs instead of 1. 

Through it all,  I’m hoping to be able to see the blessing of slowing down and being more present with my family instead of feeling the loss of what I had hoped to be doing and accomplishing. 

Right now I’m just enjoying the fact that I am able to give myself an excuse to get some rest and just be with my kids. 

So if you come to visit be prepared for some things to be undone and a little messy as I work out the balancing act of enjoying life and getting things done. 

 

Are rainbows worth the storms?

Are rainbows worth the storms?

This is what I’ve been asking myself since last night.

This week I have been helping my dad pick bales that he made, in exchange for some bales for my animals. I LOVE picking bales and was excited to be doing it again this year for the first time in two years.

It hasn’t been without its challenges though, as I’m feeling pretty burnt out from my adrenal fatigue which has been pretty bad lately causing me to wake up unable to sleep at 3-5am, and then I end up feeling like I could sleep all day. 

At the same time, we are trying to fix up our rental to sell or rent while we are staying there and also renovating our farm house due to having mold in our bedroom ( which I’m hoping was the trigger for my fatigue getting worse when we moved there, and therefore I will hopefully start to feel as good as I did last summer once I detox from the mold.) I have been pretty much pushing through feeling sick and fatigued every day and I’m looking forward to slowing down after this month hopefully! 

With all that plus some truck trouble thrown in, it’s taken a lot of work and money for both my dad and me to get very little hay, as it’s not been a great year for hay at all. 

So it hit pretty hard yesterday when we spent all day trying to get what ended up being very few bales off a field only to have a huge storm come up and soak all the bales we made that day, plus all the bales I had hauled home the day before. I hadn’t covered them yet in my hurry to go get the rest and the chance of rain had been only 25% for that day. 

We are driving home with a load after the storm passed and my dad jokingly said: “There is the rainbow, well that makes it all worth it.”

I laughed,  and likely said “yeah” sarcastically, but didn’t think much more about it as I was starving and just wanted to get home to eat!

But later that night, when I couldn’t sleep because I was dwelling on a current relationship that means a lot to me, but has had more than its share of storms and even tornado’s rip through it, and some past relationships that haven’t weathered the storms at all, I for some reason thought of my dad saying “There is the rainbow, well that makes it all worth it.” 

I started to wonder if it is worth going through the storms in a relationship to reach the rainbow at the end of the storm? 

When you’re worn out from the destruction of the storms and they keep getting more damaging to you, do you move out of the storm zone? Do you keep rebuilding and hope the next one doesn’t do as much damage? Do you keep weathering the storms and enjoying the little rainbows hoping for the day that worst of the storms are over and you get to enjoy the really beautiful rainbow at the end? 

I’m not sure if I have the complete answer yet. 

I think the answer partly depends on if the other person is willing to help rebuild after the storms and is willing to help to fortify against and reduce the damages caused by future storms. I think it depends on if they are willing to stop creating the storms. I think it depends on if they want to see the rainbow or are content staying in the eye of the storm. 

I think if the other person wants to help rebuild after the storms and is willing to join you in fighting to get through the storm, the beautiful rainbow at the end is more than worth the storms you will weather.

The question is, “Are they willing?” And how long do you wait for them to decide? I am praying for wisdom to know the answer to those questions and will continue to do so. 

The hay getting soaked on the other hand? Not at all worth it as cool as the crazy clouds were, and as beautiful as the rainbow was. But I’m going to choose to hope that the stacks didn’t soak all the way through and that the hay will still be worth having as being miserable doesn’t help one bit. I should know.

One of my favorite things!

So there is this wonderful little thing called an instant pot…  It makes life (especially with fatigue) a little bit easier with its quick and easy yogurt making, 2-hour bone broth, quick and easy rice making, dry beans cooked in 2 mins once it gets to pressure and much much more! Plus all the great things you get with a slow cooker only fast! Which means if you forgot to throw everything in a pot in the morning, you can still throw it all in the pot and have supper an hour or less after you start!  And the best part is that it’s on for 44% off today with a prime membership on amazon.ca. My mom and I both got one on prime days last year and have not at all regretted it! In fact, we both bought a second one on black Friday we love them so much! So if you want to get yourself one of these amazing little pots at almost half off, click on the link below to join prime and then click on the picture of the instant pot below or if you’re already a Prime member just click on the picture of the instant pot.  You won’t regret it! 😉

Amazon Prime

I am a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon and affiliated sites. Thanks for your support. 

Real life today.

Real life today looks like – I’m sick in bed with a wicked cold that I’ve had for over a week. Kids fought most of the morning. My kitchen looks like a bomb went off as the 10 yr old made waffles for everyone, but isn’t as keen on the cleaning up after himself part. Kids have been watching Netflix pretty much nonstop since they got up, and I badly needed to get things done today. The joy to be found? That my 10yr old can make food for everyone when I’m sick, and it provides him with pride and joy.  My 10yr old who has had a lot of pre-teen attitude going on lately showed that he still has a tender loving heart in making sure his mom is served food first  (in bed no less) and that I have eaten enough to keep my blood sugar up.

My desire for this blog.

Why did I start a blog? It’s something that has been rolling around in my heart/head and that I’ve been encouraged by others to do for a while now. I used to really enjoy writing (and was much better at it) as a teen and I find it a much easier way for me to communicate my thoughts than speaking. I wanted to start a blog to give encouragement to others struggling with chronic fatigue/illness while homemaking, homeschooling and/or homesteading as it can be a real struggle to juggle those while dealing with chronic fatigue/illness…. and it can feel very lonely and like nobody understands why you can’t keep up with it all. I understand. I also wanted to start a blog for recovering perfectionist like me, to show that not everyone has a blog perfect life and that it is okay to stop striving for that and give yourself grace instead of feeling like a constant failure. I want to show that life isn’t always perfect (as much as the perfectionist in me wants it to be.) But that you can still have dreams and passion in life and find the joy in the struggle.  I’m not always good at finding the joy in the struggle myself… So this blog is to show me as much as anyone that there is a joy to be found. I’m also hoping to keep my perfectionist-self accountable to showing my life on this blog as it is, not how I want it to be. Ironic thing is that perfection is what has kept me from starting this blog sooner.  Which goes to show that I need to start this blog, give myself grace, and ditch the perfection even more than my title suggests. 🙂 So what you will find here is a lot of real life, things that have helped and encouraged me in this journey and whatever God lays on my heart to share. Thanks for visiting and hope to see you again!